Late night restlessness and a surprising decision

It's just past 3 AM and I'm wide awake. The apartment is quiet except for the gentle hum of my laptop fan and the occasional car passing on the street below. I should be sleeping, but my mind won't stop racing.

I've been staring at my flight confirmation for the past hour. September 2nd, 11:05 AM. Just over 48 hours from now, I'll be boarding a plane to Amsterdam. The first step of my 500-day journey.

It still doesn't feel real. I keep checking my packing list, making minor adjustments, wondering if I've forgotten something crucial. The backpack sits by the door, ready to go, yet I keep second-guessing my choices. Is 65 liters enough for 500 days? Too much? Just right?

I've decided to make one last visit to the harbor tomorrow morning. There's something about watching the boats that calms me. Maybe it's the rhythmic nature of the waves, or perhaps it's seeing others embark on journeys of their own.

I just remembered that the Vintage Plastic Boat Regatta is happening at Odderøya Museum Harbour today. It could be fun to check it out - a celebration of classic Norwegian boats, with activities and awards for categories like "best original boat." And it's free admission, which is always a plus when you're about to embark on a long-term trip with a finite budget.

My bank account is as ready as it'll ever be for this adventure. I've calculated daily budgets for different regions, factoring in accommodation, food, transport, and activities. I've set up automatic payments for the few bills that will continue while I'm away. The spreadsheets are color-coded and formulated. I've prepared as much as humanly possible.

Yet there's still this nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something important.

Or maybe it's just the natural anxiety that comes with a life-changing decision. In two days, I'll be leaving behind everything familiar. My apartment. My routines. The comfort of knowing exactly where everything is and how everything works.

I wonder what version of myself will return in 495 days. Will I be fundamentally changed? Or will I simply have a collection of stories and photographs?

The forecast shows rain for the next few days here in Kristiansand. Temperatures hovering around 13-17°C. Pretty typical. Amsterdam looks similar, though a bit warmer. I've packed accordingly, with layers that can adapt to changing conditions.

I should try to sleep. Tomorrow will be my last full day here, and I want to be present for it. One last walk through familiar streets. One last look at this place I've called home.

But first, I think I'll close all the tabs I have open about Amsterdam. I've researched enough. It's time to experience it firsthand, not through travel blogs and tourist websites.

Just 495 days to go. The countdown continues.

Posted at 3:21 AM local time